Just in case you ever get these two environments mixed up, this comparison should make things a little bit clearer: The difference between being in PRISON and being at WORK:

IN PRISON: You spend most of your time in a 10X10 cell
AT WORK: You spend most of your time in a 6X6 cubicle

IN PRISON: You get three fully paid for meals a day
AT WORK: You get a break for one meal, and you have to pay for it

IN PRISON: For good behavior, you get time off
AT WORK: For good behavior, you get more work

IN PRISON: The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you
AT WORK: You must carry a security card and open all the doors yourself

IN PRISON: You can watch TV and play games
AT WORK: You could get fired for watching TV and playing games

IN PRISON: You get your own toilet
AT WORK: You have to share the toilet with people who pee on the seat

IN PRISON: They allow your family and friends to visit
AT WORK: You aren’t even supposed to speak to your family

IN PRISON: All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required on your part
AT WORK: You must pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners

IN PRISON: You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out
AT WORK: You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars

IN PRISON: You must deal with sadistic wardens
AT WORK: They are called ‘managers’

Talked about this on my show.  This website gives you the perfect times to go pee pee at a movie.  This way you dont miss the good stuff.  Bring a stopwatch I guess?  It also has an i-phone app! lol  This might come in handy if you’re one of those frequent pee pee-ers (those theatres can get cold).

www.runpee.com

So focused on FUN.  Not a care in the world.  Awesome!  Erin rules!

smoking dog

Here’s a story sent to me from someone I’ve known for many years. Grab a tissue and read on… Need Washing?

A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target.. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Target.

We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.

The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in ‘Mom let’s run through the rain,’ she said. ‘What?’ Mom asked. ‘Let’s run through the rain!’ She repeated ‘No, honey. We’ll wait until it slows down a bit,’ Mom replied. This young child waited about another minute and repeated: ‘Mom, let’s run through the rain,’ ‘We’ll get soaked if we do,’ Mom said.

‘No, we won’t, Mom.. That’s not what you said this morning,’ the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom’s arm. This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet? ‘Don’t you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, ‘If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!’

The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn’t hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes. Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child’s life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

‘Honey, you are absolutely right. Let’s run through the rain. If GOD let’s us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing,’ Mom said.

Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.

And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories…So, don’t forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.
I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.

Keep in touch with your friends, you never know when you’ll need each other — and don’t forget to run in the rain!

If you’re reading this then chances are you are a GINORMOUS Jonas Brothers fan.  Or you atleast know who they are.  However if being an extremely teared up, crazy, overwhelmed by dudes in curls with a brother who looks nothing like them fan, then pay attention.  Below is a picture of a black box.  Looks like a box that you would put stage eqipment in for a concert.  Do you know what actually goes in this black box?  A Jonas Brother.  Notice the seat, the small fan and the small window.  This is how they have to get to the stage.  On their summer tour they perform on a circular stage.  Squeezing into this small but spacious(???) box is the only way for them to make it to the stage safely without being mobbed by thousands of young teenage girls.  So, when you go to a show and you start making your way towards the front and start knocking over every black box you see just to see if a Jonas Brother will pop out like a jack-in-the-box, when you’re being arrested on your way out, scream into the news cameras you love Fenway from B93.7.

I’ve been trying to eat healthy lately by eating salads.   My wife said I was defeating the purpose because of everything I put on my salad.  How do you eat your salad?  There is a recent survey that says 44% of people dribble their dressing(pouring just enough to  top the salad, 39% are swimmers ( cover the salad up with dressing) and 13% are dunkers ( dressing on the side).  However 4% don’t even use dressing.  WHAT!  thats just crazy talk.  I have got to have dressing to cover up the taste of the lettuce, tomato’s and cucumbers etc.  While you are at it put bacon bits on it and cheese along with the dressing to make it eatable.  I had a friend who was at a salad bar and he accidentally put butterscotch puddin’ on his salad.  You should have scene his face.  He didn’t like it but I bet I would.  Be careful at the salad bar.  Have a great day Hawk

This past Torture Tuesday didn’t go as planned, but do they ever?  Hawk and Tom are always trying to find a way to “Torture” me and yesterday the torture went to a new level.  I was ticketed for being a nuisance and fined $470.  I simply put on some snorkeling gear and jumped into the water fountain at the Hyatt on Main in Downtown Greenville.  The Greenville City Police Department didn’t find that too funny, so…

Everyone seems to thinks that the ticket AND the fine were ridiculous, but I’m ok with it.  The alternative was going to jail and that’s exactly what I thought was going to happen when I was escorted to the back of the police car.  Intern James missed that part while recording the video, but he did get me floping around the fountain AND me talking with the officer.  Make that officers, because several police cars were on the scene.  Am I that much of a threat?

Here’s the video..

You tell me what you think about the situation.  Was it really that bad?  The officers said I HAD to get the ticket because they ticket homeless people when they go wading in the fountains.  Come on.  Homeless people want to go to jail to have a nicer place to sleep AND eat.  I don’t want to go to jail, so I’m gonna pay the fine.  Hawk and Tom said they would help out with the fine and Heidi promised me a beer.   We’ll see if they come through.  Check out www.hawkandtom.com to see the actual ticket and a video from one of the many listeners that came out to the Hyatt to see me.  I’m gonna go now and do a little praying, won’t you join me?   lol

My dad sent me this on e-mail.  It is a video camera mounted on a train facing backwards.  This is the engine and you are looking back at the train.  They ride through a tornado and it starts picking up cars and throwing them off the tracks.  But that’s not the worst part, once a few cars are thrown off the tracks and the engine stops – the rest of the train is still coming full speed ahead with a car loaded with explosive gas coming right for the engine…

Eating right affects your BRAIN as much as it affects your BUTT.  In fact, studies show that you can be up to 200 percent more productive if you make the right choices when it comes to your diet.  So here’s a guide of the best and worst brain foods . . .

#1.)  FOR SHORT-TERM MEMORY . . . drink coffee.  Caffeine slows down the aging process, and just one cup helps improve attention and problem-solving skills.

–DON’T DRINK . . . energy drinks or TOO MUCH coffee.  It can mess with your sleep schedule.  Sleep gives your brain time to reboot, so you shouldn’t screw with it.

#2.)  FOR LONG-TERM MEMORY . . . eat blueberries.  They’re in season right now.  The antioxidants in blueberries protect your brain from free-radicals and cut your risk of Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s.

–DON’T EAT . . . fruit that’s not ripe.  It doesn’t have the same nutrients.  If fruit is OUT of season, you’re better off buying it frozen, since the flavor, nutrients, and antioxidants have been locked in.

#3.)  TO THINK FASTER . . . eat fish.  Salmon or mackerel are best.  The omega-3 fatty acids are the building blocks of brain tissue.  Plus, the niacin in salmon can help ward off Alzheimer’s disease.

–DON’T EAT . . . full-fat ice cream.  Saturated fat can clog blood vessels and prevent the flow of nutrients to the brain.
 
#4.)  TO CALM DOWN . . . eat low-fat yogurt or mixed nuts.  They’ve both been proven to reduce anxiety by up to 50 percent.

–DON’T DRINK . . . soda.  A study by the American Journal of Public Health found that people who drink two and a half cans a day are three times more likely to be depressed or anxious.

#5.)  TO CONCENTRATE . . . eat peppermint.  The smell alone helps you focus.  And a recent study found that peppermint makes drivers more alert.

–BUT DON’T EAT . . . candy.  Sugar can actually STOP you from focusing.  So instead of eating peppermint candy, try peppermint tea or some sugar-free peppermint gum.

#6.)  TO PUT YOURSELF IN A GOOD MOOD . . . eat leafy greens like arugula or spinach.  They’re packed with B vitamins, which help create feel-good hormones like serotonin and dopamine in your body.

–DON’T EAT . . . white chocolate.  It doesn’t have any cocoa solids in it, so it won’t boost your serotonin level like real chocolate will. 

#7.)  TO SHARPEN YOUR SENSES . . . eat a tablespoon of flaxseed every day.  It strengthens your cerebral cortex . . . the area of your brain that processes sensory information.  You can sprinkle flaxseed on salads, or mix it into a protein shake.

–DON’T DRINK . . . alcohol.  It’s easy to forget that alcohol is actually a DEPRESSANT.  That means it depresses your nervous system and makes you sloppy, not sharp.  And when you get drunk, it can take DAYS for your brain to recover.